Fiction to Read or Consider

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Family Family by Laurie Frankel had such an unusual feel to me. Themes include teen pregnancy, adoption, and childhood trauma, but it isn’t sad or even serious. Everything almost feels like a joke.

Her main character, India Allwood, is bright, determined, creative, and goes after what she wants. She makes mistakes but makes the best of tough situations too. All the characters seemed weird, too quirky, and bit unreal. The lighthearted feel the characters and the writing had seemed too bright, too glossy, too fake like Hollywood where India lives with her adopted kids. I like that India won’t paint herself as a victim, but she also doesn’t seem to think her poor choices are worth learning from. I found her habit of ripping up pieces of paper and throwing them all over like confetti whenever (and wherever) she celebrated really irritating.

At the end some things come to the surface and are dealt with, but everything wraps up a bit too perfectly. It’s almost as if the book was written from a kid’s perspective, except it wasn’t. If you read it, I’d love to know what you think.

North Woods by Daniel Mason felt like a collection of short stories all centered around one place, instead of a novel. But I don’t like short story collections and I loved this book. It had an element of magic realism with ghosts and also a strong sense of the swiftness of time passing, and of the never-ending cycles of life, death, and rebirth.

There was a deep reverence of wild nature embedded into the novel. When I finished reading it I wanted to bow and kiss the earth and embrace the trees nearby. The author also imbued an interest in human history, starting from Puritan times and going into the future. I found it so creative and refreshing to have story after story of humans interacting with the land, the trees, wildlife, and the house as the years went on. Most were written in story form, sometimes as a letter, article, or poem. Certain characters I cared about more than others, but I never was bored. North Woods is a sweeping, unforgettable novel that is unlike anything I’ve ever read. Highly recommended!!

One of the Good Guys by Araminta Hall is a mystery/thriller that has a few surprises up its sleeve. I knew that all must not be what it seemed as it starts out with Cole’s POV because this novel is a commentary on the #MeToo movement. Cole obviously thinks he’s “one of the good guys” and just seems too good to be true but he’s the only viewpoint for more than half of the book. So something felt off but I just didn’t know what exactly.

And then, as Leonora takes over telling the tale, the reader begins to be clued in to what is really happening. And that there is a clever, daring, carefully-laid trap for one unsuspecting person. It didn’t have the same feel as a typical murder mystery because of the point the book is trying to make is so loud and clear. It takes over any mysterious elements. It definitely held my interest and had some creepy/scary elements. I liked the switching POVs in the second half as it gave a clearer picture of what was going on. Trigger warnings include IVF treatment and violence toward women. Oh and I forgot to mention the book is set on the English coast with dangerous cliffs and mist and cozy cottages and the stormy sea. If any of these elements or the novel’s theme interest you, I think you’ll enjoy reading One of the Good Guys.

Lent Begins Again

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This morning I set out my Lenten spiral and spent a few hours decluttering and cleaning as I make room in my heart and living space for what Lent holds for me this year. I know what the traditional three aspects of Lent are: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. And I also know the tendency of humans to turn Lent into a rules-based, rather than a heart-centered practice. It’s so easy to think, “I’m doing it better” or “She’s doing it wrong” and miss the point entirely.

In the past, I’ve done the giving up of sweets or wine or chocolate. And I’ve fasted from gossip or critical talk about myself or others. This year I am practicing laying down my burdens. I have some things I’ve been carrying for several years, looking backward with regret and anguish over my perceived wrongdoings and mistakes. As if I could go back in time or make anything right that way. Our minds know we can’t but feelings can take a lot longer. Grief takes as long as it takes.

But as I wrote about on Substack yesterday, I finally feel ready. I am letting all of that go. I’m laying it down as Lent starts. I know burdens are not so easily gotten rid of when we’ve carried them for so long. So I will have to practice this letting go. Again and again. Fasting from these burdens of shame, guilt, regret, punishing myself, etc.

Last night I finished reading Yung Pueblo’s book Inward. Serendipity surprises me with its stunning ability to appear at just the right time. I started Inward last year and then all these months later right where I picked it up was right where I needed to read. From the first page I started reading he mentions releasing burdens, loving oneself, liberation, healing, etc.

Page 111 says:

letting go is medicine
that heals the heart

letting go is a habit
that requires practice

letting go is best done
through feeling, not thinking


Page 186 says:


she's an explorer,
unafraid to travel
within her heart and mind,
ready to discover new places
to heal--releasing burdens
and planting wisdom wherever
her awareness takes her.


Page 197:
The forces 
of the universe
support those
who work at
healing themselves


And page 210:
as our ability to
know and heal ourselves
deepens, we will be better
equipped to examine the
world more carefully
and heal it more
effectively

So back to Lent. I will be practicing this laying down of burdens this Lenten season. As I usually choose a book to read for Lent, this year I am reading Christine Valters Paintners’ A Different Kind of Fast: Feeding Our True Hungers During Lent. The chapters all seem to resonate with what I’m hungering for and will support my ongoing spiritual deconstruction.

She wrote each chapter as an invitation: Ash Wednesday Week starts with Fast from Consuming and Embrace Simplicity; Week 1 is Fast from Multitasking and Inattention and Embrace Full Presence to the Moment; Week 2 is Fast from Scarcity Anxiety and Embrace Radical Trust in Abundance; Week 3 is Fast from Speed and Rushing and Embrace Slowness and Pausing; Week 4 is Fast from Holding it All Together and Embrace Tenderness and Vulnerability; Week 5 is Fast from Planning and Deadlines and Embrace Unfolding and Ripening; and the last week is Fast from Certainty and Embrace Mystery and Waiting.

So this is what I’m purposing and what I’m reading for Lent. If you’re an observer of Lent, perhaps you’d like to join me in reading through Paintners’ book A Different Kind of Fast: Feeding Our True Hungers During Lent. I’m opening up a private chat for paid subscribers of my Substack, Old Soul Stories, to share thoughts, questions, experiences of reading this book during the Lenten season. I’d love to connect with you there. You can subscribe here.

If you observe Lent, what are your thoughts or plans for this season?

Photo by Ejov Igor on Pexels.com

Evening Poetry, January 25

The Moon over the water, Whitby by hayley green is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

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Moon Clock 
by Donald Hall

Like an oarless boat through midnight's watery
ghosthouse, through lumens and shallows
of shadow, under smoky light that the full moon
reflects from snowfields to ceilings. I drift
on January's tide from room to room, pausing
by the wooden clock with its pendulum that keeps
the beat like a heart certainly beating, to wait
for the pause allowing passage
to repose's shore--where all waves halt
upreared and stony as the moon's Mycenaean lions.

You can find this poem in The Selected Poems of Donald Hall.

Showing Up For Our Future Selves Today

Now that we’re past Quitter’s Day (Jan. 19) and perhaps some of us see more clearly which New Year goals will stick and which ones we might not be ready for quite yet, let’s talk about discipline.

Discipline can have so many negative feels, right? Just hearing the word “discipline” reminds me of punishment when I was a child. I’ve been letting this word roll around in my mind for a couple of weeks because I know how unfavorable it might sound to say we need more of it. When people in power over us such as bosses, teachers, or parents are doling out the discipline, it might not feel good. But what if we discipline ourselves? What if self-discipline is the thing that makes us stronger, happier, healthier? What about disciplining ourselves to do the things we really want? To be the people we long to be? 

I heard a statement a few months ago that said, “We have to show up for our future selves today. We have to be that person now.” If you want to learn some Portuguese for a trip you’re taking to Brazil in eight months, you can’t spend night after night on the couch watching tv. You have to break out Duolingo and practice each night. Or before you know you’ll be in Rio knowing not even the most basic phrases. 

Once you know the kind of life you want to have, the relationships, work, health, finances, etc., then what? Do you just keep wishing in a dreamy kind of way? Do you get out your crystals, set your intentions, and wave some smoke around at the New Moon? Do you write in your manifestation journal or meditate? 

These are all helpful to do, but how and whether we reach our goals depends on whether we do the thing. Every day or every week. Consistently. When no one is watching. When we don’t feel like it. When we’re tired or bored or would rather go binge-watch something. Focused time toward those intentions we set or revisit each New Moon.

For example, I’ve been “dreaming” of getting a collection of poems self-published before I’m 50. That’s a doable goal…if, and only if I write the poems, edit, and rewrite, and learn all the technical steps required to self-publish. Otherwise, I’ll be dreaming of publishing that collection before I’m 60. I must discipline myself to do these things and, as Brendon Burchard would say, put it on the calendar. If it’s not scheduled, it’s not going to happen. A dream is not a goal.

I actually have lots of dreams and goals. And many of them have definitely happened. I wanted to become an aromatherapist so I completed a training. I wanted to become a meditation teacher so I completed a training. I wanted to become a yoga teacher so I completed three different trainings. Some of the work was interesting and exciting (especially when starting a new program) and some of it was dull and definitely not exciting (especially after I’d been in the training awhile.) 

When I look back on each of those trainings, I had to give them my intention, attention, and willpower. Intention was the “I want to be a yoga teacher” part, for example. Attention was my focus: taking notes and attending classes. Willpower came in when I had a list of steps for certification that I had to systematically work through and complete. When I didn’t feel like it. When I was feeling tired or lazy or even afraid I wouldn’t know what to do or I wouldn’t be good enough. No one could do the work for me. It was up to me and my will. I could either do it or not. 

The discipline was setting aside time to complete the work. And it wasn’t negative even if I didn’t feel like doing it because I had set my intention to be a yoga teacher. People like to mention “your why” these days and, I agree, why you do something is important. So is “your what”. How did it start? “I want to be a yoga teacher”. There was a why too: “I want to teach people who are intimidated by yoga they see on Instagram or in magazines, people who are less flexible or not in a slender or young body. I want to show them that yoga is for them with the body they have and that they can experience the benefits of a physical yoga practice with simple and doable poses.”

On the days I doubted myself or didn’t feel like doing the work for yoga teacher certification, I could look back at my intention which was “my what”: that I wanted to be a yoga teacher. This helped me remember that I signed up for this work; I chose this path. At the beginning of goal-setting or intention-setting or a new program, there’s so much high and positive emotion that you think everything will be easy and exciting every day. So you do the work or check the thing off your list for a few days. Then you get bored; all the shine has worn off. 

This is where self-discipline comes in. It’s not about how you feel. It’s acting with purpose and clarity toward your intention or goal. Toward “your what” and “your why”. Toward your future self. Once you set your intention, you can revisit it daily, weekly, monthly. And ask yourself if this intention still holds true or does it need to change. It’s fine if it does. But if you are still intending toward a future goal, discipline will bring you closer and closer to your goal.

You can speak to yourself kindly and encouragingly. Disciplining oneself doesn’t have to be cruel and harsh! You can channel your inner Louise Hay with some affirmations: “My intention is to become a yoga teacher and I am willing to do the work required to reach this goal. I am happy for the opportunity to take this training and learn so many wonderful new things. I am grateful for the instructors and fellow students I’ve gotten to know during this training and look forward to what this certification will afford me.”

When you finally climb up the hill and reach your destination, you will feel the satisfaction of completion and accomplishment. You will feel confident in your ability to figure things out, work hard, learn, and finish something. And then in that new confidence, you’ll probably set another goal and start the process over.

Gluten Free Waffle Tales

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Since I went gluten free eleven years ago, I’d never tasted a homemade waffle. I made regular waffles for my kids when they were at home and purchased frozen waffles for myself whenever I had a hankering for some. Until 2024! As soon as the new year was born I began to think about waffles. Alan had an old waffle maker from before my time, so I dug it out, cleaned it up, and mixed up some gluten free batter.

Complete fail! The waffle maker must’ve lost its nonstick coating because the first waffle stuck to the surface even after I’d oiled it. So I dug it all out (with a plastic utensil) and started over. This time the waffle maker stuck together like glue. No manner of pulling could pry it apart. So that one went into the landfill and I made the rest of my batter into an unsatisfactory pancake. I was so sad because I’d felt so virtuous cleaning up the waffle maker and putting something old to use again. Unfortunately, it wasn’t old old, it was just early 2000’s old which means it was built for obsolescence.

Then I fumed, hemmed, and hawed for a couple of days, wondering what the best solution was and still craved waffles. I decided to purchase this Cuisinart waffle maker because the design was simple, it had lots of good reviews, and the price was right. I didn’t want bells and whistles; I just wanted it to make good waffles.

The day after it came, I read all the instructions, wiped it down with soap and water, brushed oil on it and plugged it in. I whipped up a new batch of batter in the blender this time, (I will always mix GF waffle batter in the blender from now on), poured in my first half cup of batter and closed the top. Success!!! It didn’t stick, the batter didn’t pour out the sides (the bane of waffle making!), and the waffle tasted delicious.

I made the whole batch, cooled the ones I didn’t eat on a baking rack, and then froze them in a single layer on a baking sheet in the freezer. Once frozen, I popped them into a zip-top bag and put them back in the freezer. Because the size of the waffle is too big to reheat in the toaster, I put it in the toaster oven to defrost. (I tried breaking one up into fourths and defrosting half at a time in my little two-slot toaster but by the time the second half was ready, the first was cold.)

After eating eggs and toast for years, I’ve been switching it up with eggs and a waffle. I’m sure I’ll tire of them after a while, but right now they’re really making my mornings happy. Since I’m not drinking coffee right now, mornings have been a bit hard to face, to be honest. I LOVE coffee, even the decaf I’ve been drinking after I turned forty. But I was having so many health problems and after reading that coffee is a significant source of mold, I decided to cut it out of my diet, along with some other things, at least for now. Every morning it’s a battle as I remind myself of all the ways my health seems to be improving after only ten days but it’s still difficult not to give in. I keep looking at the calendar asking, “Hasn’t it been at least a month yet?”

Back to the waffle story…

If you’re interested in making these waffles, here is the recipe from the Mama Knows Gluten Free blog.

A couple of tips:

I don’t recommend using cooking spray on your non-stick waffle maker surface. Use oil and a silicone brush. Olive oil, sunflower oil, refined coconut oil–any of those oils are great. Cooking spray has other stuff added besides just oil and it will gum up your waffle maker. In fact, I don’t recommend cooking spray on anything and haven’t used it in about fifteen years. A silicone brush or a paper towel and some oil work just fine.

I used my own gluten free flour blend to make the waffles. I mix up a good amount of flour all at once so I have it for several weeks at a time. (Here’s my gluten free flour recipe: 4 cups brown rice flour, 2 cups sorghum flour, 2 cups tapioca flour/starch, 1 cup arrowroot powder/starch/flour, 5 teaspoons xanthan gum. Mix really well and store in an airtight container.)

If you use the gluten free waffle recipe above, put your waffle ingredients in a blender if you have one. You can blend in a stand or hand mixer, but there will likely be lumps. Just put in the liquid ingredients first and then the dry ingredients and blend, scraping down the sides with a spatula a couple of times. Then transfer to a bowl while you make the waffles.

And if you spring for this Cuisinart waffle maker I just purchased, only use a half cup of batter at a time. Pour it into the middle and spread with a spatula, close the top and let it do its thing. Just once I put in a little more than half a cup and the batter oozed out all around which is what used to happen when I made regular waffles years ago in a two dollar garage sale waffle maker for my kids. And that’s what made made me think I hated waffle making. So whatever instructions come with your waffle maker, read them and find out how much batter exactly to pour in. It will make for a very pleasant experience and you likely will make waffles much more often.

Let me know if you make gluten free waffles (these or others) and share your tips!

Evening Poetry, December 3

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Advent Calendar
by Rowan Williams

He will come like last leaf’s fall.
One night when the November wind
has flayed the trees to the bone, and earth
wakes choking on the mould,
the soft shroud’s folding.

He will come like frost.
One morning when the shrinking earth
opens on mist, to find itself
arrested in the net
of alien, sword-set beauty.

He will come like dark.
One evening when the bursting red
December sun draws up the sheet
and penny-masks its eye to yield
the star-snowed fields of sky.

He will come, will come,
will come like crying in the night,
like blood, like breaking,
as the earth writhes to toss him free.
He will come like child.

You can find this poem in Haphazard by Starlight.

Evening Poetry, December 2

Moon setting over The Sound of Arisaig by Dumgoyach is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0
Why Are Your Poems So Dark?
by Linda Pastan

Isn't the moon dark too,
most of the time?

And doesn't the white page
seem unfinished

without the dark stain
of alphabets?

When God demanded light,
he didn't banish darkness.

Instead he invented
ebony and crows

and that small mole
on your left cheekbone.

Or did you mean to ask
"Why are you sad so often?"

Ask the moon.
Ask what it has witnessed.

You can find this poem on the Poetry Foundation website.

Evening Poetry, December 1

Approach to B9119 junction by Stanley Howe is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

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Slow Down
by Michelle Weigers

This morning I'm so tired
from pushing myself hard,
that as I drive down this country road
I can't bring myself to go

anywhere close to the speed limit.
I feel like a silver haired lady
peeking over my steering wheel
as I creep along, letting

the cars whiz by me.
I always assume the elderly
go slowly because they're cautious,
not wanting to hit anyone

or miss the ambulance
racing down the road with siren blaring.
But maybe they've figured out
a secret that I'm still trying to learn.

What if driving slowly
is the only way
to live my best life,
to keep from running so fast

that I go right past myself?
Running by the small child inside
who seeks to fill herself with wonder,
passing up the chance for rest,

for play, to slow myself
long enough to notice
how pleasant the rain sounds
dripping onto the roof

of the house next door,
tiny wet whispers tapping
those few remaining leaves
clinging to the maple

in my backyard,
an almost silent thrumming
slowing down my weary soul.
The steady chime

of church bells ringing
in the distance, in this moment,
reminding me, I've already
been given all that I need.

You can find this poem in The Wonder of Small Things: Poems of Peace & Renewal.

Evening Poetry, November 30

Frosty morning near New Bridge, Taw Valley, near Barnstaple. by Thor Beverley is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

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The Only Way I Know To Love the World
by Julia Fehrenbacher

It's not just a cup of coffee
but the warm hum of hello, an invitation
to wake, to sip, to say thank you
for another chance to dance
with another new day.

It's not just a ceramic mug, but the one she
shaped with her own 16-year-old
hands for me. For me.

It's not just one heart held open
to another, or a kiss blown in the mirror,
not just the soft circle of smile,
but a nod of--I see you. You are not alone.

Not just life. But your life. Your very temporary life.

It's isn't just the earth you stand on
but the giver of every single thing, a reason
to get down on humbled, human knees
and say thank you thank you thank you.

It is not just another moment but a door flung open,
a flooded-with-light entrance to every real thing

not just a poem but a prayer whispered
from one listening ear
to another. The only way I know
to love the world.

You can find this poem in The Wonder of Small Things: Poems of Peace & Renewal.

Evening Poetry, November 29

Frost in the morning. by Paul Beaman is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

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Poem of Thankfulness
by Nathan Spoon

Today I am thankful for morning frost
touched by sunlight and sparkling

on lawns and fields    I am thankful too
for you and the warmth provided to my feet

inside ordinary socks and shoes and the way
the music of your voice enters my ears

and warms my heart leaving this planet of ours
spinning (if only slightly) more easily;

and I will consider how the world is good
difficult and good and how a lifetime

is both too short and too long
and how the injured heart cannot heal but

as researchers in Sweden have discovered
the muscle of our disadvantaged organ also can

and does slowly replenish itself      Today
when the bigness of the sky asks whoever

is standing beneath it are you ready
the gray trees drowsing and temporarily losing

the last of their burnt sienna leaves will say yes
and you will say yes and I will say yes too

You can find this poem in The Wonder of Small Things: Poems of Peace & Renewal.